Chhhhh. Chhhhh. Chhhhhh. As I scrub down the stove top taking apart the burners and setting them into a freshly cleaned sink of hot bubbly water. I grab the 409 and spray the stove top and pick up my sponge to make it pearly white. My mission, clean the kitchen. Make it spotless.
While to any outsider looking in I am just doing a deep cleaning on Sunday. However inside my head I’m spinning uncontrollably and can’t stop. My body feels uncomfortable in my own skin and I just want to feel back at home. I’m breathing deeply and trying to regain normalcy. Cleaning, cleaning is my coping mechanism.
I am disappointed in myself. Disappointed in a choice I made. So I continue cleaning, trying to regain control.
Be Inspired 
First, your reply box is darling! I’m sorry something put you in such a state. We all have those moments. sending good thoughts your direction!
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Well I love this writing, Angela, but I don’t love that you’re feeling disappointed. I hope you find some comfort, either by cleaning or maybe just by giving yourself some grace.
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I’m cleaning the kitchen as well. While I’m not a neat person (as most would tell you) it does help when I’m feeling stressed or just nervous. Why am I like this? Heck if I know, but it just helps! 🙂
Wishing you a “relaxing” cleaning and a chance to clean out whatever is bothering you! 🙂
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I highly doubt you have anything to worry about. I bet whatever happened is all forgiven and a growing opportunity!
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Thinking of you!
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